Steven Taylor notes quite possibly the boldest claim yet on behalf of the pro-torture segment of conservatism. And this gem from Red State:
It’s likely even Jesus would have OK’d water boarding if it would have saved his Mom. He would’ve done the same to save his Dad, or any one of His disciples.
Since claims like this require an authoritative response, Heretical Ideas is bringing back one of our favorite interviewees: Jesus Christ.
Heretical Ideas: Thanks for coming back to see us, Mr. Christ. So let’s just ask the question right off the bat: should Americans use torture–sorry, enhanced interrogation techniques?
Jesus Christ: Put your sword back in its place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.
HI: Wait–do you mean to say that we shouldn’t do harm to someone even if they mean to harm us?
JC: But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.
HI: So you’re saying we should show mercy, even to those people who would kill us if they could?
JC: Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
HI: But I don’t understand–what’s the purpose in showing love and mercy to people who wouldn’t show Americans any?
JC: If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
HI: Well, that seems pretty clear to me. Thank you so much for your time again, Jesus. There’s a Supreme Court nomination coming up, so I’m pretty sure we’ll have you back soon.
Update (6/1/2009): Welcome, League of Ordinary Gentlemen and Outside the Beltway readers! If you enjoyed this foray into theology, you might enjoy some of our previous interviews with Jesus:
10/10/2008 - On prayer gatherings for lower taxes.
10/30/2008 - On fasting against Homosexuality.
10/31/2008 - On praying to rescue the stock market.
[...] at Heretical Ideas, Alex Knapp has an exclusive interview with Jesus Christ and the Top 5 “Burn Notice” [...]
Excellent post! I came here from James Joyner’s aggregation of OTB posters who post elsewhere. I was afraid it would be someone putting his words into Jesus mouth. What a delight that, instead, you put Jesus’ words into Jesus’ mouth in response to contemporary question. Blog on, you are a credit to the trade.
Roberta,
I’ve done a couple of these, which you can see if you hit the “Jesus Christ” tag. They all follow the same format. I am always dazzled by people who proudly pronounce themselves Christian while at the same time ignoring Jesus’ ethical teachings.
[...] Alex Knapp has the definitive take on whether Jesus would have waterboarded, as some have claimed. It’s definitive because Alex went through the trouble of interviewing the Man Himself. A little snippet: So let’s just ask the question right off the bat: should Americans use torture–sorry, enhanced interrogation techniques? [...]
Great interview, Alex….you should try to get this guy onto Fox News sometime…
E.D.,
The Fox News rep informed him that they aren’t interested in the meek and merciful.
[...] June 1, 2009 Well, asking him is a good start. [...]
[...] Who Would Jesus Waterboard? | Heretical Ideas Blog (tags: politics) [...]